Dear Tiger Woods,
You are the greatest golfer ever. Some people say you are one of kind, that’s there’s no one else like you, that they broke the mold when they made you. But we both know that’s not true.
Take away your fame, the endorsement deals, thirteen majors, and kajillions of dollars, and we’re basically the same person.
Sure you hit laser straight drives and I have a world-class slice that inexplicably turns into a world-class hook at a moment's notice. You’re also known for your steely nerves on the putting green, and I have more yips than a dog pound. But I’m pretty impressive in my own right.
Check out these accomplishments:
• I was able to do my own laundry by age 27.
• I can find Waldo almost every time.
• I have successfully overcome a potentially devastating addiction (gummy bear vitamins).
• I know how to count backwards from ten all the way to BLAST OFF!
So yes, Tiger, you are a great golfer, but let’s face the facts— when it comes to being successful at life, you have met your match (but your secret is safe with me).